Thursday, 11 November 2010

British English

Here as promised is the next installment of the FMDE. Students of varieties of English may notice that with one exception the following are British English definitions.

Labour noun (one belonging to) political party formed by working people wanting rights and representation. Though often described as centre-left, and despite membership of the Socialist Internationale, the aggregate of British Labour Party membership and policies comes out of the wash a very pale pink, and in the late 1990s the party was held down and tatooed on the forehead with the adjective 'New,' during Tony Blair's successful bid to become a conservative prime minister. After a chat between Tony Blair and US President George W Bush, Labour promptly shot itself in the foot in Iraq. The party has a pronounced limp to this day, made worse by its haste to reduce civil liberties and it's eagerness to embrace unregulated free-market economics. The patient did not thrive under the care of Gordon Brown, and while it remains to be seen whether colour will be restored to its pallid cheeks by Ed Milliband, at present it currently languishes on the opposition benches watching the baying toffs and queasy looking Lib Dems on the other side.

Layabout noun unemployed or newly redundant person undeserving of even reduced benefits because of their lack of sufficient inventiveness or energy to get on a bus or bicycle, or to pull themselves along by their bootstraps, to see if the Big Society needs anything, and who may be found making spurious definitions of already well known words at a time of morning when others have already earned a biscuit at the office; natural Labour supporter who may be disillusioned.

Liberal adj & noun 1 American E (individual with views that are) extreme left wing, supportive of those we currently hate esp terrorists, yet also spineless, ineffectual, and of questionable sexuality; likely to opine that the favoured translations into the English language of the collection of ancient documents comprising the Christian bible may not be literally true in every respect. 2 British E (individual with views that are) socially tolerant but economically conservative; slightly grand or middle class; typical of one whose political party has been digested having supped with the devil using too short a spoon

More soon, possibly at A for 'anarcho-syndicalist', if the Big Society doesn't re-educate the college laptop. NB assignments from the trip to the future were due in later this week.

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